


Unfortunate Balram's Engagement Party

by annsgopal94



Category: Mahabharata - Vyasa, महाभारत | Mahabharat (TV 2013)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 14:17:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2584385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annsgopal94/pseuds/annsgopal94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven."<br/>-Jimi Hendrix</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfortunate Balram's Engagement Party

When Yudhishtir was happy, everyone knew. He'd sing corny old songs tunelessly, wolf whistle at his mother (his Dhrithrashtra Tauji never understood this, because "does that disturbed boy know he's whistling at his _mother_?!"), twirl his little sister around the dining room, and lie on his stomach, smiling at nothing.  
Yudhishtir is currently cooking a very desi pasta (which, as Bheem says, is really the only way to eat pasta) and singing _Aaiye Meherbaan_. Rajjo, the unfortunate cook who has been subjected to this dual assault of weird food and bad singing, has fled the kitchen to the safety of his room. But Yudhishtir, usually so sensitive to everyone's needs, hardly cares. He has moved on to " _Chup na sakega ishq hamaara, chaaron taraf hai unka nazaara_ " from _Mughal-E-Azam_ but is abruptly interrupted by Karna.

"Accha?" Karna asks, amusedly. He knows what is proverbially, up. A certain nerd has caught his little brother's eye. 

"Have you applied to _all_ the firms on your list yet?" Yudhishtir asks, attempting to change the subject. 

"Yeah, that's not the point. What did she say?" Karna flings back.

"She said yes," Yudhishtir answers, not even bothering to ask how he knew the reason for his happiness. Karna'd just be all Sherlock about it and say, "Elementary, my dear Watson" or something equally asinine to cover up for the fact that Nakula and Sahdev had spied for him.

"Did she now? I'm impressed. Good for you Ishth!" Karna says, eyebrows raised. There is a vague air of disbelief in the situation: Vrushali did once refer to Yudhishtir as "the Haraami" once upon a time. But then it is hard for anyone to stay mad at Yudhishtir and continue to badmouth him basically because he is so sincerely contrite when in the wrong.

"So where are you taking her?" Karna asks, plopping onto the countertop. 

"I really want Ma to meet her, so I was thinking Balram's engagement party..." He trails off, switching on the exhaust fan to dispel the fumes of masala.

"Dude, you haven't even taken her out properly yet, and it's already meet the family? And our family? To be honest, that might shock her prudish sensibilities."

"Are you talking about that time when Arjun pantsed Nakula, and she covered his abdomen with her dupatta?" Yudhishtir asks, smirking.

"That would be the moment, yes," Karna affirms. Then looking away in the distance, muses, "I honestly don't understand how he did it...that kid wears his pants so tight."

"And low, so it's easier. Anyway, I've already asked her if she wanted to meet Ma and she said yes."

"You are literally the only person to introduce your girlfriend to your mother on the first date,” Karna says shaking his head.  
And this is true, because Yudhishtir has funny ideas about everything under the sun: case in point, he is the only person the Kurus know, who likes kheer on his chawal (Draupadi is convinced Kunti picked him up from the mandir ke seedi). But Vrushali is very impressed with him. She sees commitment in the offer to meet his family and knows instantly that she is not wearing her heart on her sleeve only to have it ripped off mercilessly.

And this is what she tells Durga, her friend, that night. Durga, who has been with Nakula for a year now (that's a whole other story) _still_ hasn't met Kunti. She is a tad put off by this, but to be honest, there isn't anything that Vrushali can do about it. Still, Durga sits through a squeal-filled appreciation session of Yudhishtir Kauravya bravely.

"He's so sensitive, and caring and when he looks at me, I swear I see his pupils dilate- like that doesn't happen to anyone else I'm sure!"  
Durga doesn't have it in her to say that that happens when anyone looks at a person they love.

"And I know how much his Mum means to him....OHHH HE IS JUST PERFECT!"

He probably has an Oedipus Complex, Durga thinks ungraciously. He's probably got "Mum 4ever" tattooed on his arm.

"But do you think it's moving too fast?" She asks, suddenly worried. But then her fears are dispelled. Yudhishtir is an A-grade human and he would never let her down. As for his family/boy band: how wild can they get? Her brow furrows. She knows that she was brought up in a proper, sensible family as an only child and Yudhishtir is for the most part proper and sensible too, but he isn't too bothered by his family's frankly mental reputation. 

"Vrush, you're not marrying him. And really, all of them are quite sweet. Where are you going on your first date?" Durga asks.  
"His cousin Balram's engagement party..."

Durga's eyes widen. Balram's engagement party meant Krishna would be around. And Krishna meant trouble. Krishna _with_ Arjun, Draupadi and Duryodhan meant disaster. She is confident that Vrushali won't escape this unscathed.  
On the other hand, Nakula-1, Yudhishtir-0.

Nakula had brains enough to take her out to dinner on their first date.  
\----------

Vrushali has been pacing the length of her rather small room, non stop, for the past thirty two minutes. Before that she was in a frenzy, throwing lehenga after lehenga and saris after saris all over. Now dressed, made up, and bejewelled, she is wearing out her thin rug with her too small heels, while Yudhishtir (who really is a good boyfriend) patiently puts away her lehengas and saris, and caps her lipstick tubes.   
"What are your youngest brothers' names again? Nakula and Suhaas?"  
"Sahadev," he answers, not really offended.  
"Duryodhan is your cousin...You have just one sister Dussala...your Mother loves lilies...Bheem loves keema...Arjun is close to Krishna and Krishna is Balram's brother isn't he? And Subhadra their sister is dating Duryodhan, and Karna is dating Draupadi and ISHTH I AM EXHAUSTED," she wails close to tears.   
"Love, you need to chill. It's not a test," he says, kissing her nose.  
"But what if they hate me?" She whispers, tiny teardrops jewelled on her lashes.  
He draws back with a deadpan expression.  
"You cover people's abdomens to save them from embarrassment, you leave the last momo for me _always_ , you stay up all night when Durga has an exam so that she doesn't stress herself out. You Vrushali, are a treasure, and it is impossible in any dimension to hate you. Now can we please go? I hate being late."  
\-----------

 

Krishna is in a back room, placed very conveniently near honewali bhabhi Revati's room for the evening. All sorts of lovely ladies keep flocking to see the bride, and one of them is going to be Rukmini Vidharbhi. He squints through a peephole- AH THERE!  
Without really considering it, he sticks a hand out and pulls her into the cramped space.  
Backing her up against the wall, he rests one palm on the wall, right next to her face.  
She giggles.  
Not what he was expecting, but okay.  
It is dark and he can't really see anything (minor glitch in his grand plan) and he doesn't have any source of light (Krishna doesn’t own a phone- unbelievable, but true).  
He rests his other hand on her waist and runs light fingers against her side, causing her breath to hitch. This is VERY good- see, Krishna knows that he tends to have an effect on people but having one on the seemingly unaffectable Rukmini is gratifying.   
Meanwhile Vrushali is over the moon, being touched and tingly and all.   
My boyfriend is a wizard, she thinks. Like Harry Potter, and Tom Hiddleston. EEEEEEEEEEE.  
She can't really see Yudhishtir, and his touch feels a tad funny, but she isn't going to ruin this for herself! She had wondered where he had disappeared after showing her the ladies' but she never imagined that this was where he was, thinking up wicked little schemes to calm her down. Bless his heart!  
Krishna decides to amp things up a little and runs his fingers through her hair to grasp her head. He runs the tip of his nose against her jawline, and kisses the space between her chin and throat.   
She sighs and runs her fingertips from the nape of his neck, into his hair. It feels weird- Yudhishtir's hair is very L'Oreal Paris and all, but nowhere near how soft this hair feels. She decides not to say anything though.  
It's only when he drags his lips to hers, does she know that she's been cozying up with a man that is not her boyfriend.   
She screams lustily, but her mouth is blocked by the same magical hand that had been feeling her up a moment ago.  
Hey BHAGWAN! She thinks. This is it, I'm going to be Nirbhaya no.2. I'm going to be raped, mutilated and die. They'll hold candle protest marches for me, the praja jan.  
But she is no abla naari! She pushes him off with all the strength she has and throws open the door, squints, and jumps out into the light. She turns around to look at her potential rapist to find a devastatingly handsome, dark man with such a baffled expression that it is almost comical. Almost.  
She runs away into the main hall, truly terrified.  
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to _both_ of them, a certain Miss Vidharbhi has witnessed the entire incident from start to finish. She has very mixed feelings about it- on the one hand she is amused, and on the other supremely irritated that Krishna can't tell her from others. But she is confident that it was her he intended to pull in and not that other girl.  
"What the actual-" Krishna starts to say and then notices Rukmini giving him the evil eye.  
" _DARLING_! I was just about to-"   
He cannot finish because Rukmini has turned around and is walking away.  
"Yep, I'm done for," he tells a child whose pinky is lodged in its nose.   
\----------

Arjun is with Karna, drinking fruit punch that has very little fruit, and a LOT of vodka. He is having a pleasant time- Bade Bhaiyya is even pointing out everyone he thinks is secretly drunk.   
"No, no that one's' definitely high!" Arjun says, discreetly pointing to a boy with a Jim Morrison haircut- or that's probably what he had wanted; poor chap looks like Michael from the first Princess Diaries movie.  
"Yeah, he doesn't seem...yeah he passed out," Karna says, as they watch a few people drag the boy away.   
And the next fifteen minutes pass in this fashion. So, Arjun and Karna don't particularly like it when Krishna cannonballs into them, swearing and spilling their drink.  
"I SCREWED UP REAL BAD. LIKE REAL BAD. RUKMINI HATES ME. KAMEENO! DO SOMETHING!"  
\----------

Vrushali is _not_ having a good time. She is embarrassed, and scared beyond belief of what she's going to tell Yudhishtir. She is standing next to him, as Balram and Revati exchange rings, and digging her fingernails into the flesh of her palm. A cool hand picks her mangled, conjoined palms up and separates them, massaging the red flesh.  
She looks up in surprise.   
It is Kunti. She and Yudhishtir's mother have hit it off quite well. They smile and watch the rest of the ceremony go by in silence.   
The music (because what is a sagai without naach gaana?) starts blasting from the speakers. Vrushali gasps as the lucchhe-lafange who had held her captive, starts to dance to that senseless song from Student of the Term or some such. He grasps another girl's hand and pulls her in to dance, and Draupadi, Arjun, and Karna join right in.

_Maathe pe pankh mor,_  
Kehte hai maakhan chor,  
Bajaaye bansuri, bada aaya chit-chor! 

Rukmini on the other hand, is appalled at the choice of song. When Krishna pulls her in by the wrist, she allows him but does not dance. She waits for the singer to croon, " _Radha!_ " once more, and then points her finger to the general direction of the speakers.

Radha was Krishna's first girlfriend (actually it's a wonder there was a _first_ \- no one has ever known Krishna to be single) when he was in boarding school in Dehradun. They had been very much in love, and had been the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie of Dehradun- walking up to tiny bakeries and feeding each other pastries. Rumour has it that she even turned Krishna musical. But then, Krishna came back home, Radha refused to come with him, he couldn't live in Dehradun and she couldn't leave it. Both were heartbroken- and then Krishna's was mended when he met Rukmini.

Krishna closes his eyes in frustration. When he opens them, a fist, bejewelled and fair lands squarely on his nose.  
And then he is convinced that he is quite dead as everything goes black.  
\-------------

Yudhishtir watches, horrified, as his girlfriend punches his cousin in the face, and hugs Rukmini.  
"Are you okay?" She asks with wide eyes. "He is an absolute arse. He tried to trick me into thinking he was Yudhishtir and pulled me into a cupboard-"  
She is interrupted by the "victim" whose sides are splitting in laughter. Rukmini is literally tearing up as she leads a dazed Krishna, and confused Vrushali away from the prying eyes of the Uncles and Auntyjis. The younger Kuru paltan joins her.  
"He's my boyfriend! He thought it was me in the room, not you!" She chortles, and turns to Krishna. "Oh love you've had a bad night!"  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm SO sorry Rukmini! And the song was his idea!" He says, pointing an accusing finger towards Arjun, who smoothly moves away from its' direction.  
Rukmini laughs a little more, and kisses Krishna's eyebrow.   
Vrushali looks from Rukmini to Krishna to Yudhishtir and to Rukmini again.  
"What, is he _BLIND_?!" She demands, in anger. Yudhishtir is making vague slashing motions but she is oblivious.   
"I wasn't before, but you've fixed that," Krishna says, still dazed and clutching a bloody nose.  
"We're very sorry Vrushali! But hey! It's like a rite of passage- everyone who dates one of these lads has to go through a traumatic incident! And you PASSED!" Rukmini praises, injecting enthusiasm into her voice as Vrushali stares, incredulous.  
"It's true, Vrush," Draupadi says, nodding in unison with Rukmini. "Five minutes before I started dating Karna, he-"  
"Draupad- _I_!" Karna hisses.  
"Oh, sorry!"  
But Yudhishtir can only concentrate on one thing. He walks up to Vrushali and kisses the top of her head, assuring her that everything is alright. He then continues on to Krishna who promptly covers his nose.  
"Did you kiss my girlfriend?" Yudhishtir asks calmly.  
"Bhai, it was _just a mistake_!"   
But Yudhishtir has reached down and pulled off Krishna's ' dhoti. A cacophony of gasps, and snickers resounds. He throws it out of the window.  
"What- _BHAI THAT WAS MY ONLY DHOTI! I don't even have a CHANGE OF CLOTHES!_ " Krishna whines.  
"I know," Yudhishtir assures him, firmly holding Vrushali's dupatta in place.


End file.
